


1940s

by BucksomeBarnes (Freckled_Halos)



Series: The Before [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Angst, Artist Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Domestic, Fights, Fluff, Goodbyes, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Men Crying, New Years, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Teasing, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:37:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckled_Halos/pseuds/BucksomeBarnes
Summary: Between New Years of 1940 and Steve and Bucky's last mission together in the war, they live happily, fight angrily, say goodbye, say hello again, kiss, and love each other. 'Til the end of the line.





	1. January 1940

 

JANUARY, 1940

 

When the clock struck midnight, the radio crackled with cheers from spectators in Times Square. Steve sprung to the other side of the sofa, landing on top of Bucky and wrapping his arms around his neck. Running his hands along Steve’s back, Bucky let himself be kissed, hard and urgent as Steve tried to control his smile against Bucky’s lips.

“Happy New Years, sugar,” Steve whispered after pulling away.

“Happy New Years, doll.”

“You know, this year will mark a whole decade since we met,” Steve mused, leaning back to sit cross legged facing Bucky.

“Is that it?” Bucky replied, taking Steve’s cold hands in his. “Feels like a lifetime.”

“The best lifetime you’ll ever have,” Steve teased.

“Oh, of course,” Bucky said, grinning.  

Steve gave him a soft smile, eyes gentle and kind. The radio continued to buzz with celebration and Bucky turned to lower the volume. He beckoned Steve closer and he settled between Bucky’s splayed legs, leaning his back against Bucky’s chest and lying out along the cushions.

“Did you have any idea?” Steve started, playing with Bucky’s fingers resting lightly on his chest. “When you walked into that alley for the first time and stood up for me when no one else would…did you have any idea where it was gonna lead us?”

“I couldn’t have even guessed,” Bucky replied, sighing. “And if anyone had told me back then where we would be now, I wouldn’t have believed them for a second. But there’re no words to explain how happy I am it went this way.”

Steve was quiet for a few moments, tracing the lines of Bucky’s palm with his fingertip. He quietly asked, “You mean that?”

His tone wasn’t malicious or teasing at all and it took Bucky by surprise. “Of course I mean it. I know…I know it’s been a bumpy road and I know I haven’t always acted like it, but I always felt it, Steve. Even when I thought there was no way we could be happy because of all the obstacles staring us in the face every day, I still wanted you. You still made me so happy and made me feel so—”

He stopped suddenly and when he didn’t continue, Steve sat up slightly to turn to face Bucky. “Feel so what?”

“Loved,” Bucky shrugged, pulling an embarrassed smile. “Steve, the way you make me feel about the world and about myself, I just…thank you for always loving me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

“You always deserved it,” Steve immediately replied, shifting and sitting fully upright, knees bent to his chest between Bucky’s legs. “Everybody deserves to be loved, Buck. And in my opinion, you’re one of the _most_ deserving. We’ve had our fair share of struggles, but the fact that we’ve come out on the other side—together—counts for something.”

Bucky grinned more confidently and Steve continued, “God knows I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with either. So thank you, Buck. For loving me even when it was really hard to.”

“It was never hard to. You are a lot of things, Steven Rogers, but ‘hard to love’ is not one of them,” Bucky whispered back, sitting up to face Steve and taking ahold of his hands.

Steve’s ears flushed pink as he smiled, looking down to their hands clasped together.  

“What do you wanna make sure you do this year?” Bucky asked quietly.

“I dunno,” Steve shrugged. “We haven’t been to a ball game in a while. I want to go to the beach more this summer like we did when we were in school. And I want to start painting more. What about you?”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. “I want to win another boxing championship. I’d like to spend more time with my sister. And I wanna just…be with you. As much as I can.”

“I think I can arrange that,” Steve smirked, bringing their hands up to his face and kissing Bucky’s knuckles.

“I—” Bucky started before shutting his mouth and flushing dark pink.

“What?” Steve asked, amused, letting go of Bucky’s hands to gently lift his chin up with a thin finger.

Bucky’s eyes roamed around Steve’s face for a long time as they sat facing each other in silence. “I’m just excited,” he murmured, grinning.

“Excited for what?”

“For the future.”

Steve narrowed his eyes, giving Bucky a suspicious glare, not believing something that vague would embarrass him enough to prompt the color on Bucky’s face.

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes. “I mean it, Steve. It’s a new year and a new decade. And after having spent the last one together, I’m just…really looking forward to spending the rest of my decades with you.”

“Yeah, well…” Steve started, trying and failing to be aloof. “Me too.”


	2. May 1941

MAY, 1941

 

“What’re you lookin’ at?”

Bucky’s voice startled Steve who quickly slid his eyes from Bucky’s legs spread wide in the middle of the sofa to his glittering eyes.

“Nothin.’”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky replied, unbelieving, as he focused back on the book in his hands.

Steve shifted from the other side of the couch, tucking his knees up closer to his chest to hide his open sketchbook from Bucky’s curious gaze. After a few quiet moments, Steve resumed his drawing. The phonograph was playing softly and it wasn’t long before Bucky began to mindlessly hum along to the music. No matter how much time passed between them, Steve’s heart always started to beat a little faster whenever Bucky would hum, whistle, or sing around him.

“You know,” Bucky started a few songs later, eyes still on his book, “if you want me to pose for you, I will.” 

“Oh, I know,” Steve responded, not bothering to look up either. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you peacocking around whenever I get my pencils out.”

“I don’t peacock,” Bucky replied, feigning offence.

“Uh-huh,” Steve echoed.

“Hey, I just want you to be the best artist you can be, Steve. And if that means posing for a few nude studies, I’m willing to make that sacrifice for you.”

Steve laughed, finally looking up to see Bucky staring teasingly at him. “I can think of a few nude studies I’d like to try with you.”

Bucky laughed back, dog-earing his book and setting it on the sofa between his legs. He bit his bottom lip, looking at Steve with dark eyes and running a hand through his hair. “Oh yeah?”

Steve could feel his ears start to blush and the pit of his stomach tingle, but tried to play it cool and not let on just how much he wanted to jump on Bucky right then.

“Eh. Maybe,” Steve shrugged, turning his eyes back to his sketchbook.

The sofa creaked as Bucky got to his knees and scooted closer, sitting back on his heels in front of Steve’s legs. The blush in Steve’s ears darkened and spread to his entire face as Bucky lightly pulled the pencil out of his hand and carefully lifted the sketchbook from his lap. Folding the cover closed, Bucky set both on the floor before pushing Steve’s knees apart so he could nestle between them. Steve leaned back against the arm of the couch and wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist.

“So,” Steve began, clearing his throat as Bucky brushed his nose and lips across Steve’s face. “About the ‘nude’ part of this arrangement…”

Bucky laughed, warm breath ghosting across one of Steve’s pink cheeks. “Come on,” he replied, shoving his hands underneath Steve’s backside. Bucky’s scooped him up and slid off the cushions, carrying Steve eagerly into their bedroom.

 


	3. Spring 1942

SPRING, 1942

 

Steve leaned a hip against the kitchen sink as he stared out the window, arms crossed. His eyes were raw and nose pink.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted,” Bucky said quietly from where he was sitting at the table. “But it’s important to me too, you know.”

Sniffing, Steve ran a sleeve along the underside of his nose and didn’t reply.

“Steve,” Bucky sighed, running a hand down his face. “Don’t ignore me. Please.”

“What d’you want me to say?” Steve finally answered, voice thick. He turned around, leaning his back against the sink and looking frustratingly at Bucky, arms still crossed.

“Anything?” Bucky replied.  

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” Bucky growled. “I know you’re upset, but why the hell are you taking it out on me?”

Steve squinted his eyes, glaring at Bucky and clenching his jaw.

“What if it was the other way ‘round, huh?” Bucky asked, getting increasingly angry. “If it were you going instead of me, how would _you_ feel if I sat here, purposefully makin’ you feel guilty about it?”

“How am I making you feel guilty?” Steve replied, incredulous and affronted.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that shit, Steve. You’re being really goddamn selfish and you know it.”

“Selfish?” Steve shot back. “Why, because I want to enlist and risk my _life_ fighting for my country?”

“You _can’t_ , Steve!” Bucky shouted, shoving a hand in Steve’s direction. “But I can and I’m gonna leave and instead of supporting me or seeing my point of view or—God forbid—being _concerned_ for me, you’re just being a goddamn child about it because _you_ haven’t gotten what you wanted. Well, I’m sorry. It’s not my goddamn fault that you’re—”

“What?” Steve interrupted, steaming. “ _Not good enough_?”

Bucky shut his mouth, flaring his nostrils and staring hard at Steve. “Sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Steve hissed.

“You’re sick enough to get a 4F,” Bucky replied. “ _Multiple_ 4Fs. You’ve had to deal with a lot of shit, Steve, I know, I’ve seen it. You never give up and you never let anything stop you and, doll, that is one of the things I love most about you. But this…Steve, you just can’t. And that’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Steve replied, angry tears beginning to well up again. “It’s bullshit and it’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not,” Bucky sighed, rising to his feet and stepping over to set his hands on Steve’s small hips. “But since when has life ever been fair to us?”

Bucky leaned down and tried to press a kiss to the top of Steve’s head, but he swerved out of the way and pulled out of Bucky’s grasp, stomping out of the kitchen and into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

 

 


	4. June 1943

JUNE, 1943

 

Steve told himself he wouldn’t cry. Told himself to stay strong and that everything would be okay and to stop thinking the worst. But the second he saw the tears start to well in Bucky’s eyes, all of his feigned confidence flew out the window.

Bucky looked absolutely stunning in his service uniform. The cut of the coat and cinched-in belt accentuated his broad shoulders and strong chest in a way that almost hurt Steve to look at. But he did. He forced himself to look because what if this was the last time he’d ever get the chance to?

With shaky fingers, Steve straightened Bucky’s beige tie and smoothed down the wool lapels of his coat.

“Steve?” Bucky breathed, quiet and broken.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut instead, pretending that maybe if he didn’t acknowledge reality, it wouldn’t happen.

Bucky’s voice was thick with emotion as he whispered, “Steve, please look at me.”  

Forcing himself to raise his head, Steve met Bucky’s stare with glassy eyes and the expression Bucky was giving him nearly broke Steve’s heart. Bucky pressed his lips together, trying to stop his chin from trembling as his dark eyes roamed over Steve’s face. He let out a long breath. Steve tried to force a smile, but it quickly contorted into something else and he hid his face, sliding his arms around Bucky’s torso and leaning into his chest. Bucky embraced him back, squeezing so tight, Steve’s breath caught in his throat.

Bucky folded over, loosening his grip only so he could nuzzle his face into the side of Steve’s neck. “I love you. So much.”  

Steve squeezed his eyes shut again and brought a hand up to lightly scratch the back of Bucky’s head, fingers settling into his thick hair.

“I love you too. More than you know.”

Finally pulling away, Bucky sniffed and rubbed roughly at his nose, eyes red as he stared down at Steve.

“I’m sorry I’m not seeing you off at the train station like all the other sweethearts,” Steve half-joked.

One side of Bucky’s mouth pulled up slightly. “This is better,” he replied.

They looked at each other for a few long moments, wordless. It wasn’t fair. Steve should be going too. Steve should be sacrificing just as much as Bucky—and wanted to so badly—but he was denied the chance. Rejected more times than he cared to think about. And now, not only did Steve not get to fulfil his duty, but he was forced to stay home and watch Bucky leave him, unsure if he’d ever come back.

The tears started to well up in Steve’s eyes again, but before he could duck his head, Bucky gently took Steve’s face into his hands, rubbing thumbs lightly across his cheeks. Steve leaned into one of Bucky’s palms, bringing his hands up to grip tightly at Bucky’s wrists. Leaning down, Bucky pressed a long kiss onto Steve’s forehead before abruptly pulling away, rubbing at his nose and turning to grab his bag and open the front door. Steve wrapped his arms around himself, trying to memorize every detail of the moment in case it was their last.

Bucky stood still in the doorway, back to Steve as he composed himself. After a long pause, he finally turned around, forcing a smirk onto his face.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

“How can I?” Steve answered, rubbing at his eyes and trying to tease back. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky pursed his lips, pulling an expression equal parts pained and amused. He stepped forward, slamming the front door shut again and dropping his bag as he bounded back towards Steve.

“You’re a punk.”

“Jerk.”

Slipping one hand to the small of Steve’s back and the other behind his head, Bucky bent forward, kissing Steve with a ferocity that quickened his heart and weakened his knees. Steve let himself be held as he set cool fingertips on either side of Bucky’s jaw, opening his mouth and letting Bucky slip his tongue inside. Steve tried his hardest to focus on the feeling, trying to lock this memory away before it inevitably turned sour. Bucky was leaving. Without Steve. Bucky was leaving with no guarantee of coming back and the tears started flowing down Steve’s face again.  

Bucky slowly pulled his lips away before pressing their foreheads together. Sniffling, he whispered, “I love you.”

Steve worked his jaw, taking in a shuddered breath. “I love you too.”

Impossibly gentle, Bucky tenderly kissed the top of Steve’s head before stepping away. He opened the door, picked up his bag and stepped outside. Before the door closed all the way, Bucky looked back, staring at Steve with red eyes.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve croaked back.

And with that, Bucky forced one last smile before turning away and shutting the door behind him.

 

 


	5. November 1943

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was extra nervous about this one because I feel like I hyped it up so much in my previous notes. So I hope this is at least mostly satisfying...! Tried to make it realistic, but loving and sexy, like usual.

NOVEMBER, 1943

 

Bucky shifted in the cot, pulling the blankets closer to his chin and getting increasingly appreciative that they were alone in Steve’s tent. Bucky still wasn’t quite sure how he got there and a small voice in the back of his head told him to be concerned about how suspicious it might look, but he was too overwhelmed with seeing Steve again to really care. His Steve who was suddenly very large and very strong.

“Is...um…” Bucky trailed off, trying his hardest to keep looking in Steve’s eyes and not anywhere else as he stood broadly at the end of the bed. Steve raised his eyebrows encouragingly and Bucky cleared his throat. “Is _everything_ bigger?”

Steve stared at him a moment before laughing openly, a sound Bucky hadn’t heard in much too long and it almost made him cry right there.

Flushing and trying to suppress a smile, Steve replied, “Everything is…proportionate.”

Bucky whistled low and Steve let out another amazing laugh, flushing deeper. He eased down onto the cot at Bucky’s side, taking hold of one of his hands. Bucky stared at them. Even Steve’s hands were different. They were thicker and stronger and so _warm_. Bucky had gotten used to Steve pressing his freezing cold hands and feet against his skin in the middle of the night, but he never thought he’d actually miss it.

“Buck?” Steve was looking at him with wide, honest eyes. “I really missed you, sugar.”

Bucky smiled sadly, rubbing at Steve’s knuckles. “I missed you too.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed and he let out a long breath, eyes flicking down to glance at Bucky’s lips. “Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly, looking at Bucky with glassy eyes.

Chest tightening, Bucky brokenly answered, “please.”

Steve immediately leaned down, cupping Bucky’s face with an unfamiliar cautiousness, but the instant their lips touched, it was like coming home. Steve may have looked a lot different, but he smelled the same and his lips felt just as wonderful as Bucky remembered.

“Come here,” Bucky whispered, sliding a hand around to the inside of one of Steve’s thighs.

Steve moaned into Bucky’s mouth before pulling away to resituate, straddling Bucky’s hips. Bucky let out a strained groan as Steve’s full weight settled on top of him.

“Sorry,” Steve breathed, embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “Just not used to bein’ the littler one.”

Steve forced a smile before leaning in again, ghosting his fingers along Bucky’s jaw as they kissed, slow and sweet. Bucky could feel Steve stiffening on top of him and he let out a long sigh, hesitantly running his hands along Steve’s sides. It was odd—having so much more _body_ to caress and wrap his arms around and every so often, Bucky had to open his eyes, just to make sure it was still Steve he was kissing.

“Tell me what you want,” Steve whispered, pressing his lips against Bucky’s cheeks.

Bucky moaned as Steve kissed down his neck, a hand slipping from Bucky’s face to his groin. Steve rubbed lightly at Bucky’s growing hardness, the largeness of his hand confusing Bucky again.

“Let me look at you first,” Bucky answered quietly.

Steve sat up, cheeks and ears reddening. His cock was pressed tightly against the crotch of his pants and Bucky couldn’t help but stare, his heartrate quickening.

Clearing his throat, Steve shifted, leaning sideways and slipping off the cot to stand by Bucky’s feet. He was blushing, but staring at Bucky with a fire in his eyes. Steve let out a heavy breath before shrugging out of his uniform jacket. He undid his tie, sliding it painfully slow from under his collar and letting it drop to the floor. Next were the buttons on his olive green shirt, Bucky unable to tear his eyes away from Steve’s massive fingers working deftly on unfastening them. He peeled off the shirt, revealing a white tee underneath, spread tight across his chest. Bucky’s hand slipped inside his own trousers.

Steve paused for a second and Bucky’s stomach dropped, his mind quickly coming to the thought that maybe he was making Steve terribly uncomfortable. It had only been a few months, and they had written a few secret steamy letters to each other during that time, but maybe Steve didn’t feel the same around Bucky anymore. Especially with this new body of his.

Sliding his hand out of his pants, Bucky frowned and whispered, “You don’t have to keep going, Steve. I’m sorry, I just…I’ve been really…well, you know, and I’m just so fucking happy to see you, but I don’t want—”

“Don’t want what?” Steve asked quietly, letting go of his shirt hem and clasping his hands together.

“I don’t want you to feel like a piece of meat as I’m just sittin’ here ogling at you.”  

Steve smiled gently. “I know you, Buck. I know it’s more than that. And besides,” he smirked, “I spent some time ogling at myself too at first.”

Bucky laughed lightly, grateful at Steve’s positive attitude about the whole thing. Grateful for Steve understanding him better than anyone else. Just grateful for Steve in every possible way.

“I’m just trying to remember that you’re you,” Bucky began, turning more serious. “And that I’m not skippin’ out on you while eyein’ up this big, strong guy because you _are_ this big, strong guy.” ~~~~

“I know it’s funny,” Steve murmured, finally pulling off his shirt. “It took me a while to get used to it too. But it really is me, sugar. You’re not skippin’ out on anybody.”

Steve was standing there casually, hands resting lightly on his hips and Bucky’s breath caught in his throat. He loved Steve before, and always would, but he couldn’t deny the sheer beauty of his new body. His shoulders were ridiculously wide, his chest round and strong, silver dog tags settling between his pecs in a way that made Bucky practically jealous of them. Steve’s nipples were hard from the chill and those, at least, were the same bright pink as they’d always been. His torso tapered into a tiny waist, abdominals perfectly sculpted and obliques creating a deep crease in his sides, an inviting V-shaped indentation descending into this waistband. His arms were bent gently at his sides, biceps insanely huge and forearms thick and veiny and Bucky suddenly realized just how much that turned him on. 

“Right…” Bucky mumbled, mostly to himself. “Still my Steve.”

Smirking, Steve took a step towards the bed until Bucky held up his hand.

“Wait,” Bucky began, eyes raking up and down Steve’s chest before meeting his gaze. “Pants too.”

Steve pursed his lips, trying not to grin smugly at how much he had Bucky completely in the palm of his hand. He took a step back and unfastened his pants, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Pushing his underwear down with them, Steve’s trousers fell to the floor as his cock bobbed half-hard out of them and Bucky’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, staring at all of Steve’s bottom half.

Steve suppressed another smile, kicking his pants away and splaying his arms out.

“Turn around,” Bucky said, forcing his eyes up to Steve’s face.

Steve rotated slowly, stopping to face the opposite side of the tent.

Letting out a long sigh, Bucky whispered, “that ass might be a bit bigger, but you could still bounce just as many pennies off it.”

Steve laughed lightly as he turned around, stepping closer to the bed. “Can I get in there with you now? It’s cold out here.”

Bucky held up the blanket, letting Steve slip underneath. Steve took up much more space than Bucky was used to and neither of them were covered much by the blanket, but the warmth radiating off of Steve’s skin more than made up for it. Straddling Bucky’s hips again, Steve leaned forward, kissing Bucky with more confidence than before. 

“How are you feeling?” Steve murmured, nipping at one of Bucky’s earlobes. “How far do you want to go right now?”

“I’m still a little weak,” Bucky replied, running his hands through Steve’s thickened hair. “But I want you so bad.”

Bucky felt Steve’s cock twitch in response and decided he couldn’t keep his hands off him any longer. Dropping one of his hands to Steve’s lap, Bucky took ahold of his generous length and started stroking him loosely. Steve let out a long, rumbling sigh.

“God, that feels incredible,” Steve groaned, sliding his hands up under Bucky’s shirt and setting them on his chest.

“I’m not doin’ much,” Bucky chuckled, slightly quickening his pace.

“Guess it’s just been a while,” Steve answered, beginning to roll his hips. “Probably since before you shipped out…”

Bucky stilled his hand. “Wait. Are you telling me you went through this entire procedure and came out looking like _this_ and you never thought to immediately shoot one off?”

Steve laughed, sitting up just enough to look Bucky in the eye. “I thought about it, but it just felt off, like I was trapped in someone else’s body and had no right to be there. And after I mostly got used to this being me now, it just seemed like more important things came up.”

“How do you feel now?” Bucky asked quietly, loosening his grip on Steve’s cock.

Steve was silent for a few long moments and Bucky expected to hear him either snap a sassy reply or shyly change his mind about getting physical. Instead, Steve furrowed his eyebrows and let out a long breath.

“I feel like in the past few months everything has changed. So much. And being with you again, Buck, just feels like being back home. This is the most _right_ I’ve felt since you left and I know I look different and I know you’ve been through hell, but I just…I can’t deny how happy I am to be here right now. Despite everything, to just be in bed with you again…”

“I know,” Bucky whispered, cupping Steve’s face in his hands. “God, I know. I’ve missed you so much, Steve. Most times, the only thing that kept me goin’ when it got real bad was thinking about you.”

Steve pulled a sad smile and stared at Bucky with glassy eyes.

“I know you can take care of yourself, Steve, you always could, no matter what people thought. But in the darkest, shittiest times over here, I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you alone and not getting to live life with you. And goddamn it if I was gonna be taken from you like that.”

Laughing lightly and rubbing at his nose, Steve ran his hands along Bucky’s torso under his shirt. “Not even a world war can break us up, huh?”

 “Nah,” Bucky replied. “There’s nothin’ in this world than can ever tear me away from you.”

Steve launched forward suddenly, mashing his and Bucky’s lips together. Bucky was slightly taken aback, but stiffened at Steve’s fervor as he kissed down Bucky’s jaw and neck, pushing Bucky’s shirt hem up to his armpits. He scooted down the bed, pressing his lips along Bucky’s chest and stomach before slowing down as he got closer to the top of Bucky’s pants. His hands hovered above Bucky’s groin where the fabric was tented from his growing hardness. Steve took a moment to calm his emotions and clear his throat before looking in Bucky’s eyes, his expression filled with both adoration and fire.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Bucky sighed, running his fingers through Steve’s bangs. “Remind me what I’ve been missin.’”

Steve’s expression darkened and his heartrate quickened. Jittery with anticipation, he took hold of Bucky’s waistband and pulled, completely ripping the fabric of both his trousers and boxers in one motion. They both stared; Bucky was awestruck at Steve’s new inhuman strength, but the disappointing realization of now only having one set of intact pants and underwear lingered in the back of his mind. Steve’s gaze was fixed on Bucky’s erection, a mixture of love and lust in his eyes.

After a few quiet seconds, Steve dove in, taking Bucky into his mouth and pressing as far forward as he could. Bucky let out a breathy groan, letting his head fall back as Steve continued. Closing his eyes, Bucky focused on the feeling of Steve’s mouth around him, warm and wet. It had been much too long since he got off with anyone besides himself and the fact that it was here, with Steve, just made him even more emotional.

Steve ran his hands up Bucky’s waist and onto his chest, lightly pawing at his pecs. The warmth and size of Steve’s hands was still confusing and Bucky lifted his head to peek down. Steve’s jaw was wider and squarer, his neck thick with muscle, hair shiny and blonde and healthy. Bucky reached down, cupping Steve’s face, hiding his jawline and neck with his palms.

“There’s my dollface,” Bucky mused, gently rubbing his thumbs across Steve’s cheeks.

Steve pulled away slightly, Bucky popping out of his pink mouth. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered, scratching his trimmed nails along Bucky’s torso.   

Bucky took in a hitched breath, cock twitching at the huskiness in Steve’s voice. He slid a hand from the side of Steve’s face to his chin, gripping tightly and tilting his face upwards. “I just want _you_.”

Bucky pulled at his jaw and Steve understood the message, scrambling up to meet Bucky’s lips with his own. Keeping his hands under Bucky’s shirt, Steve brushed his thumbs across Bucky’s nipples, eliciting a low moan. They kissed quickly and messily, biting at each other’s lips as Steve pushed down what was left of Bucky’s torn pants. Steve scooted closer, straddling Bucky’s hips and grinding down slowly, cocks grazing against one another.

“Oh my god,” Bucky groaned, pawing at the warm skin of Steve’s back.

“That’s it,” Steve stuttered, rolling his hips. “Come on, Buck, you’re safe now. Just let go.”

Bucky groaned again as Steve wrapped a hand around both of their lengths. He kept his arm still as they both thrusted tightly against each other, Steve’s spit and precum aiding the motion.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Bucky sighed, screwing up his face and burying his hands into Steve’s hair. “Fucking hell, Steve, you feel so good.”

Steve rolled his hips faster and started pumping up and down with his hand. Bucky stilled, breathing heavy and moaning as Steve kept working at them both.

“Goddamn, dollface,” Bucky murmured, voice rising in pitch as he sighed, “Oh, hell, Steve, yeah… _yeah_ …”

Bucky’s entire body tensed as he came, spurting and dripping down Steve’s hand and both of their cocks. Unable to tear his eyes away, Steve stared at Bucky’s face, eyes squeezed shut and lips pressed tightly together as he slowly came down, body shuddering.

Finally opening his eyes, Bucky looked at Steve with heavy lids, blissed out and tired.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Steve sighed, looking up and down Bucky’s torso and gently letting his softening length rest against his abdomen. “I swear I could finish right now just lookin’ at you.”

Bucky hummed, running fingers through Steve’s bangs.

Setting his hands on either side of Bucky’s head, Steve began rolling his hips again, pressing his cock tightly between his and Bucky’s bodies. Bucky lifted his head just enough to slowly kiss Steve, coaxing his mouth open and sucking on his tongue. Steve let out a low whine, grinding down harder and faster. He took an erratic breath in before squeezing his eyes shut, jaw dropping against Bucky’s warm mouth.

“Oh my god,” he breathed out shakily. “Oh my god, Buck. Hell…”

Bucky gently placed his hands on either side of Steve’s flushed face. “I’m here, Steve, I’ve got you. It’s been so long, doll, just let it out.”

Steve whimpered in response, dropping his head to rest on one of Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky kissed at the side of his head until Steve suddenly shot up, sitting back on his heels and taking his cock firmly in his hand. Bucky just watched as Steve feverishly worked on himself, practically growling as he pumped faster and faster.

“Oh _god_ ,” Steve groaned, gripping one of Bucky’s sides painfully tight and bruising as he folded in on himself, trembling and whimpering. “B—Buck, I… _hell,_ I’m gonna—”

Letting his mouth fall open, Steve’s face screwed up as his abdominals tensed, shooting an obscene amount of thick, opaque streaks onto Bucky’s chest and stomach. Bucky looked at him with wide eyes, surprised—and insanely turned on—by the intensity of Steve’s orgasm.

Bucky sat still for a few moments, waiting. When Steve didn’t relax, still white-knuckling his dark pink cock and shaking, Bucky whispered, “Is it still going?”

Steve kept his eyes shut and pressed his lips together as he gave the tiniest nod.

Bucky stared at him in awe. He ran his hands gently along the insides of Steve’s thighs, up onto his hips and waist and back down again. It took another full thirty seconds for Steve to come down, stroking himself a few more times and taking a huge, shuddering breath and letting it out with a low and throaty groan.

Slowly opening his eyes, Steve looked at Bucky’s white-covered torso, murmuring “Oh my god…”

“’Oh my god’ is right,” Bucky chuckled. “Jesus, Steve.”

Running his clean hand down his face, Steve let out a long sigh, pulling a small smile. He let his hand fall and looked at Bucky with an open and content expression. “Let me clean you up.”

Still straddling Bucky’s hips, Steve looked around before his eyes settled on Bucky’s torn underwear. Following his gaze, Bucky shook his head incredulously and wriggled around, pushing his boxers and pants further down. Steve eased off the cot and pulled them the rest of the way off, using them to wipe at Bucky’s chest and stomach.

“You owe me a pair of pants,” Bucky muttered as Steve discarded the torn underwear.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve replied, flipping his hand in the air. “It was worth it though, wasn’t it?”

Suppressing a smile, Bucky watched as Steve walked across the tent, reaching into his bag to pull out his two remaining pairs of boxers and tossing one at Bucky’s face.

“I guess,” Bucky teased, awkwardly pulling the underwear on lying down.

Steve stood at the foot of the cot, hands on his hips as he looked at Bucky with the most loving expression either of them had experienced in much too long. “I love you, James Barnes.”

Smiling sadly, Bucky reached his arm out, coaxing Steve back towards him. “I love you too.”

 


	6. Winter 1944

WINTER, 1944

 

Neither of them spoke. They didn’t have to and they didn’t want to draw any attention to themselves, besides. After meeting each other’s eyes and a quick flick of Steve’s head, they both made their way back into the woods, the sounds of the other Commandos rustling around camp growing fainter and fainter. They both made wide circles, boots crunching in the snow, before meeting behind a massive tree.

Bucky shoved at Steve’s chest, slamming his back against the tree trunk and quickly shoving his hands underneath Steve’s uniform top. The coldness of his fingers made Steve’s abdominals tense, Bucky running grimy palms along the firm ridges of his muscles.

Steve sighed quietly and took ahold of Bucky’s face, roughly pulling him forward to lick deeply into his mouth. Bucky held back a moan as he fumbled with Steve’s pants, unfastening them enough to slip his hands inside, gripping painfully at his ass. Growling, Steve bit at Bucky’s bottom lip and ran his hands roughly through Bucky’s thick hair, sending it sticking out in all directions. Bucky thrusted his hips against Steve’s and pushed a thigh up between his legs, Steve letting out a rumbling groan in response as they continued to lick and suck at each other’s mouths, breathing heavy. Bucky kneaded at Steve’s cheeks, spreading them apart before ghosting a fingertip down towards his opening. Steve sucked in a surprised breath, pulling at Bucky’s hair. When Bucky didn’t go any further, Steve snarled with impatience and roughly took Bucky’s ass into his large hands, effortlessly picking him up and quickly spinning them both around, bracing Bucky’s back against the tree. Bucky wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and set his hands against the sides of his face, leaning down to give Steve a long, slow kiss.

Steve whined into Bucky’s mouth and easily removed one of his hands from Bucky’s ass to slip around between his legs. He practically ripped Bucky’s fly as he shoved his hand under his waistband, taking a firm hold of Bucky’s cock. Sucking in a surprised breath, Bucky let his head fall back against the tree as Steve worked at his dick, spitting ungracefully onto it before pumping his hand up and down. Bucky arched his back and wrung his hands in Steve’s hair, scratching and pulling.

Suddenly, Steve let go, Bucky’s cock sticking straight out as Steve set him back onto his feet. Taking hold of Steve’s hips, Bucky spun them around so Steve’s back was against the tree before diving into kiss at Steve’s neck and knead at his sides. Steve gave him a few more tight strokes before turning around to lean his torso against the bark, sticking his ass out and pulling his pants down to his thighs. Bucky looked hungrily at Steve’s backside, pale and pink from the cold, before stepping forward.

They didn’t have the time or resources to prep for anything more at the moment, so Bucky just nestled himself tightly between Steve’s cheeks, rolling his hips. Steve choked back a moan as one of his hands worked as his own cock, pumping aggressive and fast. Bucky pulled Steve closer and slid his hands around to his groin, pushing Steve’s hand out of the way so he could work on him instead. Steve let out a quiet whimper, digging his fingers a few inches into the bark of the tree.

It didn’t take long until Steve was sucking in shuddering breaths, thighs trembling, and shooting off onto the tree and into the snow. Bucky stroked him through his climax, his own cock painfully hard and pressed tightly against Steve’s ass. After taking a few more deep breaths, Steve turned suddenly to face Bucky and took his length in hand, wasting no time.

The abruptness of it took Bucky by pleasant surprise and it didn’t take him much longer to come either, Steve making sure his only uniform was out of the direction of the shot. Bucky let out a near silent “ _fuck_ ” as Steve gently let him go. They each took a few moments to compose themselves before shakily refastening their pants and belts. Kissing tenderly and whispering quietly in each other’s ears, Steve smoothed down Bucky’s hair before they parted, sneaking from opposite directions quietly back into camp.

 


	7. February 1945

FEBRUARY, 1945

 

It was dark and bitterly cold as the boys all huddled into their dug-outs, two per dirt hole. The unlucky seventh Commando left out (tonight was Dum Dum) would start the night’s first watch. Each pair usually slept in opposite directions, heads next to the other’s feet, but now, Bucky crawled in next to Steve, chest to chest.

“What’re you doing?” Steve whispered, wary and slightly concerned.

“Nothing, I just…” Bucky answered, avoiding Steve’s gaze.

“Buck, what’s wrong?”

Bucky closed his eyes, pressing his lips together. “I had an awful fucking nightmare last night, Steve. I was running, but then I was falling and it was so fucking cold and I couldn’t feel my arms…and…”

“It’s okay,” Steve interjected, placing a gloved hand on the side of Bucky’s face. “It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

“It felt so real,” Bucky whispered. “And I’m afraid that…You know when you’re goin’ into a mission or something and you just sort of know it’s gonna get fucked up? Like you get that feeling in your gut that it’s just gonna end bad?”

“Yeah…” Steve answered, getting increasingly worried.

Bucky was silent for a long time, biting his bottom lip and staring at Steve’s chest. When he spoke, it was so quiet Steve had to lean in to hear him, pressing their foreheads together.

“Will you just hold me tonight?”

The sound of Bucky’s voice nearly broke Steve’s heart and he kissed Bucky’s forehead, murmuring, “Of course. Of course, sugar.”

Bucky finally looked at Steve’s face with wet eyes. “I love you. You know that right? I love you more than anything else in the whole goddamn world.”

“Why are you saying all this?” Steve asked as his heart started racing. “Buck, you’re scarin’ me.”

“I just want you to know that, alright?” Bucky responded in a tone that told Steve he was finished with the conversation.

“I know it,” Steve said. “And you know I love you too, right?”

Bucky forced a smile and scooched even closer, nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck and taking a long breath in. Steve could feel Bucky’s hands slide up between them and tightly grip at his uniform shirt as if Steve would disappear if he let go.

“Everything will be fine tomorrow, Buck, I promise,” Steve whispered, rubbing his hands in circles against Bucky’s back.

“Just…don’t let me go.”

“I won’t,” Steve answered, his throat tightening. “I have you, Bucky. Always.”

Bucky nodded the smallest amount and sniffled into Steve’s neck. Thinking back, Steve realized that the last time he saw Bucky cry was the day he shipped out as they said their goodbyes in the Rogers’ living room. Both he and Bucky had hardened themselves emotionally while overseas—it was necessary to survive—and the fact that Bucky was upset enough to cry in front of anybody, even Steve, made him more terrified than anything else he’d seen in the war. Steve had felt confident about their mission earlier. It was straight forward: board the train at the predetermined time and grab Arnim Zola, but he suddenly felt his stomach roil thinking about it.

It would be fine.

But just in case it wasn’t, Steve held onto Bucky extra tight that night and buried his face in his greasy hair, trying to imagine being curled up together, warm and happy, in their bed back home. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So it's been another hot minute and I do apologize for that. And sorry to end on such a downer lol These took me a while to get out and I'm not totally sure why. I worked on them on and off for all of October and finally finished tonight. Some are a little short and feel a little abrupt, but I'm satisfied with each of them. I was also a little preoccupied because I did Inktober again this year, many of which were Steve/Bucky-centric, so if you want to check out my art, I'm @jojobee_art on instagram (shameless self promotion lol)
> 
> But real talk here. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me. Thank you so much to the extra special handful of you who have read every installment, gave kudos, bookmarked, and commented. I say this every time, but I genuinely cannot express how much I appreciate it and what it means to me. I love writing and I love writing about these two and to have other people enjoy it and connect with it just honestly makes me feel so happy and fulfilled and like I've succeeded that I could never explain it enough.
> 
> I'm really proud of this entire series. I've grown as a writer, learned much more about New York in the '30s, and have completed the story I set out to tell. Which is a really fucking awesome feeling. I've fallen even more in love with Steve and Bucky and rediscovered why I love writing so much. I have my modern series to add to, but it's really bittersweet having finished this. I'm going to reread it like a total loser because I know I'll miss it haha 
> 
> So, again. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for giving me joy and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. It means the world. 
> 
> And because I thought this would be a fun thing to do, here is my "End of the Line" playlist that I listen to every time I write anything Steve/Bucky:
> 
> Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller  
> The Words - Christina Perri  
> When We Were Young - Adele  
> Sweetest Devotion - Adele  
> Surrender - Walk The Moon  
> Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band  
> Lay Me Down - Sam Smith (especially painful when you think about Steve trying to live alone after Bucky's shipped out)  
> Your Winter - Sister Hazel  
> Brooklyn Bridge - Lee DeWyze  
> Cross that Line - Joshua Radin  
> Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen  
> I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra  
> The Very Thought of You - Frank Sinatra  
> They Can't Take That Away From Me - Frank Sinatra 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope to continue my modern series and hope to see you all over there soon. Again, can I say it enough? THANK YOU <3


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